Sunlight
by Aaydona
Summary: Bella deserved sunlight, but all I could give her was darkness. What happened in the summer between Twilight and New Moon? The first days of summer for Edward and Bella.


**Title: **Sunlight  
**Author: **Aaydona  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own none of this beautiful world.

I used to see her, all the time, gazing out the window with beautiful, faraway eyes, at sunlight that blossomed over the horizon in the morning. The weak, meager sunlight danced over smooth locks of mahogany, contrasting beautifully with the deeper strands of her hair and the effervescence reflected in her eyes. I was disheartened as I wrenched my gaze away from her visage to focus on the lecture the teacher was giving, trying to pretend to be listening.

Bella yearned for the sun, rare as it was. Even a fool—a fool like myself—could see that. She sighed. Regretfully, I wretched my gaze from her visage to focus on the teacher's lecture. And _pretend_ to listen.

Mrs. Banner's intentions took a dark turn: _Think you're too good to listen in class huh?_ That did not bode well. "Dear Bella, love," I mouthed at her anxiously.

"What is it Edw—"

"Would you like to complete that thought, Miss Swan?" The teacher hovered over Bella's desk next to mine, tunelessly drumming her fingers. Bella looked down, evading the woman's steely glare; a crush of crimson flooded her pale cheeks. She was as good as trapped by the teacher—and none of my vampiric abilities could help her out. The class gawked at the unfurling scene, their interests piqued.

Why couldn't I have developed the ability to charm happily married woman like Jasper? My frantic thoughts verged on the purely irrational; I squeezed Bella's hand—our entwined hands hidden beneath the table—trying to offer reassurance.

Instead, the woman teacher's thoughts came to me. She meant well, really, and it _was_ the last day after all, so she could understand the longing in Bella's eyes, retaining the golden sun's eternal glow in the twin orbs. She didn't understand how uncommon it was for Bella and I did. Bella gripped my hand tightly, as if I was the last anchor holding her in our earthly realm. _It will be fine_, _it will be fine_, I thought to her, fingers tangled with hers.

"Bella, I understand your desire to just go outside and be free since it's summer, but I expect you to pay attention to me for one last boring class," Mrs. Banner finally said, the kind smile playing upon her terse lips softening the hard edge of her reprimand. _Better longing for vacation than that Cullen boy_, she thought, her tone stern in my mind.

Bella nodded. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just too excited."

Class trickled on without any noteworthy events, and I thought about the last of school in the meantime. Just another year passing by without much change, though the summer held new meaning for me, alive with vibrancy and drowning with color where all the past summers were gray and monotonous without Bella, familiar scales climbing rapidly to their highpoint then sliding down again. Now was different. The present was waiting to happen, for _me_ to paint with Bella.

During lunch we sat in that overly crowded lunch table, stretching from one end of the cafeteria to the other. When all the others had gone, she lifted her head to look into my eyes, fully, a mischievous curve to her soft lips. "I wish I knew what you are thinking," I said, her hand pressed against my cold, unbeating heart. She was the only one whose thoughts I did not hear. Completely fitting. Bella, my love, my undoing. The only one, and it made me realize how I had taken my ability for granted over the years and how special Bella really was.

"I wish _I_ know what you're thinking," she replied, more serious than I.

"Well you only need ask. Actually, you don't even need to ask—" Playfully, I bent down to steal a hiss from her parted lips, the soft sound she emitted overtaken by a long gasp. I smiled, lips pressed against hers. "That's what I was thinking."

"I was just thinking that you'll be so sick of me by the end of the summer." Her countenance reflected the smile I too wore and, gently, placed her mouth on mind.

My lips drifted from her lips across to her cheek and into her soft mahogany hair I murmured, "Dear, fragile Bella. So fragile I could break you in an instant."

I felt Bella's body stiffen within my grasp, and I knew what was coming even though I could not use my talent on her. "We couldn't have to be so _careful_ if you'd just…"

My chin was set stubbornly. "Absolutely not." I caressed the soft line of her jaw lightly to soothe her so she could accept the fact that I would not—could not allow her to be turned into a monster like myself, only too determined on letting her live a long, healthy, natural life. With sunlight. Human interactions. Well, as healthy and natural as one's life could be with supernatural intervention, but any kind of life was better than spending all of eternity as a monster, an abomination, lurking under shadowy realms in secret. "I… can't, Bella. I just can't, and no amount of arguing could change my mind."

"But, Edward!" she pleaded, her voice bordering on hysteria, like an innocent, deprived child.

Bella deserved sunlight, but all I could give her was darkness.

We were watching some trite show in front of the TV, drowning in flashes of naked flesh and bad dialogue from one of those "teen" shows. To repress the urge to follow suit, I rested my tightly laced fingers on my lap, stiff as a concrete block of ice. _Self-control, Edward,_ I told myself, to bolster my confidence. _This will be no harder than resisting the scent of her blood_.

* * *

"Erm. Edward?"

"Hmm?" I could see the soft skin of her neck, slightly uncovered by the plain t-shirt she wore, the soft waves of her mahogany hair barely veiling it. The crescents of my nails dug into my palms nervously. Was the too-hot atmosphere of summertime ever this intoxicating? Immediately, I gulped with understanding. My throat grew dry and no words would rise to my lips, parted to speak. "Um… I—" I shook my head, unable to finish my sentence. "Bella, you're _still_ too fragile. I cannot. I cannot risk losing you, no matter what."

* * *

The next day began as a beautiful one.

I gazed into the wide expanse of summer sky lit by the golden sun behind a pane of cold glass, fingers almost touching on the invisible barrier when they reached for a fraction of that sunlight. Then I heard her coming to me. Light footsteps and gentle murmurings of my name as she searched. _Oh Bella_, I thought. _Why aren't you outside?_ In the sun, out of the shadows? I wanted to know why. I wanted to know everything she was thinking.

I thought she might leave if she could not find me but could not remove my presence once she entered the silent room.

"You can hide from me _that_ easily," she said, half-seriousness edging on her light voice.

"Who says I'm hiding?" I replied, a half-smile in my eyes.

In a singsong voice she asked, "_Are_ you hiding?"

"Who says I'm not?"

"_Edward_!"

"Don't worry," I murmured softly into her ear. "I wouldn't have the will to stay away for long before I come right back to you. I would—I could never leave you," Then I kissed her gently once, twice, three times on her lips. She was made of sunlight, the radiant glow of her smooth skin shining like a halo, and I thought right then that perhaps she was an angel. But what would an angel want with a demon? What would a beauty want with a beast? The only thing I was certain of was that I wanted her. I said again, my voice uneven, "I could never leave you, my love."

Dazzling showered in the penetrating sunlight, she was kissing me back with full force. It snuffed out any thoughts I may have had or caught like a candle flame. Her body merging into mine perfectly. Back pushed against the wall. "I love you."

"I know," I said.

I was smiling at this familiar exchange of words and how different our situation was now. Bella wasn't consumed with pain that threatened to destroy her, hurt by a monster, like myself, that lured her into his trap, and my sanity wasn't on the verge of collapse.

_Bella has all my sanity and my love now_.

Yet, like that day too long ago, I still couldn't give her what she deserved.

She spied the window at her side. A dark curtain of rain clouds was reflected in her chocolate-colored eyes, engulfing me into a world aside from reality. The wind and rain lashed at the glass and drummed against the dry ground. "The sunlight's gone!" she said. "Let's go outside!"

"It's raining," I pointed out. "You might catch a cold. Yes, I do happen to keep human details on my mind, just for you."

"You just earned yourself a brownie point, mister."

"But why would you want to be outside in the rain?" My arms swung at my sides uselessly. "We do happen to live in Forks."

Quietly, she answered, "Because, Edward, that way we can go together."

"You should be outside, enjoying yourself in the summer, not stuck indoors with a _monster_," I said, my voice too controlled. "I hate that you're not living your life as long as I am here. I hate that I am depriving you of anything. I love you too much to do that." More softly, I added, "Too much."

"But you're _not_ depriving me of anything. This is the way I want to live my life. With you," she affirmed matter-of-factly, taking me by hand. "Come on, before the sun comes out again!"

I hurried after her, my hand sturdy in hers, but I was afraid to be free as Bella led me outside. Rain was pouring like tears outside and soon she was soaked to the bone, unbearably beautiful with her face glistening and hair slick cascading down her back. Laughing into the open air, I smoothed her matted hair from her face, fingers tracing over her upturned lips in wonder. She rested her head against my cold chest, radiant.

And I kissed her.


End file.
